CLOY RICHARDS |
BURDENED AND BATTERED AND BURIED ALIVE
I've never felt so alone like I did in December 2005. I had been discharged honorably from the Marine Corps in July 2005. I missed my buddies. Other veterans wouldn't get scared when they saw me staring off, unconsciously, into the desert in my mind. I knew my family loved me, but the son my mother raised never came home from Fallujah.
Anyways, back to December, I had tried to go to the VA in L.A., but got the run-around, so I left for Missouri to find some real help. I got there in December. I spent every night in December with a loaded shotgun by my side in case I needed to end the pain, end the burden; I was battered emotionally, and the VA, along with my country, had buried me alive.
|
I AM WHO SURVIVED
I am a Christian
who survived 9 commandments but violated one
Thou shalt not kill
Plain and simple right?
It's more complicated than that
I followed my leaders with a long black crucifix in my hands
I loaded proverbs into magazines and shot them out of my crucifix
I carried bibles in my grenade pouches.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned
I have allowed bearers of false witness to burn you in an oil fire
I have allowed false idols to drop you on innocent victims, killing some, and disfiguring others
I have killed and allowed killing
I shall never kill again
I shall never get lost in the sandstorm of lies and shoot my way out.
Who survived?
I might have, but my faith didn't.
THE IED
The IED went off
This is what it said
"I'll always be in your head
You're better off dead
Thoughts don't process
You feel so detached
You'll always be my hostage
I killed you so fast
I'm killing you so slow
I'm eating you alive
It's so sad you don't even know
You'll smile pretty with sparkling eyes
You're a terror but I terrorize,
Every night and every day
Where you gonna run?
To your room? To the VA?
Marco polo, come out and play
I got your answer to all of this
A pretty flat black 12 gauge...
I control you
|
CLOY RICHARDS |
