MAURICE DECAUL

SHUSH

I’ve been talking in my sleep again mumbling in Arabic pounding my chest, a prayer ritual reflex  

I’ve been talking in my sleep again incoherent rantings, snipers, traffic control points suicide bombers

I’ve been Talking in my sleep again tense hands forming fist’s I fight an invisible enemy 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again la shook-ran, la shook- ran, the bridge is closed, don’t move, I’ll shoot 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again pebbled pistol grip, plastic hand guards cold iron sights,sharpness of bullets 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again dream in loops she runs for a door, rifle report crimson warmth, green dress 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again Marines drowned in the Euphrates

I’ve been talking in my sleep again curse the insurgent, pummel him with my rifle 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again I prayed to die in Iraq

I’ve been talking in my sleep again I see the muzzle flash

I’ve been talking in my sleep again died by gunshot 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again his face, the guard removes the sandbag eyes large like dish plates, scared

I’ve been talking in my sleep again Ferrier comes and visits

I’ve been talking in my sleep again smell the stench of burning diesel and shit 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again hear the evening prayer, duck tracers

I’ve been talking in my sleep again open with the saw, hand grenades, fifty's 

I’ve been talking in my sleep again melting tar coats my boots 

I’ve been talking In my sleep again

CRIES

At night he cries, under the
bleachers he cries, in the back
of the track, to himself, he cries,
he remembers the places, the smells
the feel of the wind against his face,
the sight of the birds taking to flight startled,
scared.

The images remain, the images remain,
unwilling to rest in his soul, to reset to
remain in control, he fights the urge, he
fights the stress, the disorder, that's trying
to rest control.

late at night he cries, the images
replay, unable to control, to fight
he cries.

MAURICE DECAUL